skep·tic
also scep·tic (skptk)
n.
1.One who instinctively
or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally
accepted conclusions.
2.One inclined to skepticism
in religious matters.
3.Philosophy.
a.often Skeptic An adherent of a school of skepticism.
b.Skeptic A member of an ancient Greek school of skepticism, especially
that of Pyrrho of
Elis (360?-272? B.C.).
[Latin Scepticus, disciple of Pyrrho of Elis,
from Greek Skeptikos, from skeptesthai, to examine.
See spek- in Indo-European Roots.]
cyn·ic
(snk)
n.
1.A person who believes all people
are motivated by selfishness.
2.A person whose outlook is scornfully
and often habitually negative.
3.Cynic A member of a sect of
ancient Greek philosophers who believed virtue to be the only
good and self-control
to be the only means of achieving virtue.
[Latin cynicus, Cynic philosopher, from Greek kunikos,
from kun, kun-, dog. See kwon- in
Indo-European Roots.]
Such are the real dictionary definitions of the stance which Ambrose Bierce adopted in considering the world. Beginning in 1881 and continuing to 1906, he created a series of sardonic word definitions of his own. Many of these were collected and published as The Cynic's Word Book, which he later protested was "a name which the author had not the power to reject or happiness to approve." So in 1911, he pulled together a collection that was more to his own liking and called it The Devil's Dictionary. The entries are a tad uneven in quality, but most are amusing and some are great. Each reader will have his own favorites, some of mine are as follows :
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough
to borrow from,
but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship
called slight
when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate
when he is rich or
famous.
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union
of two thieves who
have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's
pockets that they
cannot separately plunder a third.
BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached
to an opinion
that you do not entertain.
BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval
of a course already
decided on.
CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision
sees things as they are,
not as they ought to be. Hence the custom
among the Scythians of
plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
DICTIONARY, n. A malevolent literary device
for cramping the
growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic.
This
dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which
one person or
thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and
disguises from the
foolish their lack of understanding.
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs
prosper, our
friends are true and our happiness is assured.
HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events
mostly unimportant, which are brought about
by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe
whose influence in
human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
The Idiot's
activity is not confined to any special field of
thought or action,
but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the
last word in
everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets
the fashions and
opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech
and circumscribes
conduct with a dead-line.
POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as
a contest of
principles. The conduct of public affairs for private
advantage.
And, my choice for the very best among them :
CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored
of existing evils, as
distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace
them with
others.
By all means, read it and pick out your own; you're sure to find a few
that tickle your fancy.
(Reviewed:26-Aug-01)
Grade: (A)
